Virtual Work in a Human World

Get stories like these delivered straight to your inbox
Sign up for the CultureStoke Newsletter

In my last article, I discussed emotional intelligence and its importance, specifically self-awareness. A friend told me she “loved the article, and was curious about the impacts virtual spaces and AI have had on our emotional intelligence.”

As with most great questions, it got me thinking...

What are those impacts, and what can we do to humanize an ever-expanding virtual workplace (read: world)?

So, strap in and let’s talk about it.

Over the last ten years, we have seen a consistent rise in hybrid and fully virtual work. One study showed a one-to-three-percent rise in remote work since 2015. The pandemic caused a massive upswing in that number (obviously) from 13% in 2020 to 27% in 2022. That number has not come down, despite some organizations indicating a desire to “bring people back to the office.”

Author’s Note: The demonization of remote work needs to stop.
Does remote work add a layer of complexity to communication, collaboration, teamwork, and effective leadership? ​Sure. But, I am old enough to remember when remote work wasn’t really a thing, and we sucked at all of those things then too. Stop it.​​

​
Anyway, back to remote work and its impacts on emotional intelligence.

I will acknowledge the drawbacks and challenges in remote work regarding the development and practice of emotional intelligence; however, those drawbacks are not a) insurmountable and b) do not outweigh the many, MANY benefits remote/hybrid work affords.

Luckily for you, I have some ideas. 😉

The Challenges

• Connection
  ​The decline in nonverbal feedback makes effective communication harder. We use nonverbal feedback to get emotional readings on individuals and groups. Some research suggests that up to 55% of communication is in body language (38% in tone of voice, and 7% in the actual things said, if you’re curious). When we lose those visual and tonal cues, we can’t rely on ‘reading the room’—because there is no room. That means we have to turn inward and become more aware of how we’re showing up in the first place.
  ​

• Self Awareness​
  The decline in in-person interactions impels us to be conscious about our emotional state. Since emotions are harder to read in a virtual space, we lose out on those moments at the water cooler, in the hallway, or on the shop floor to check in with one another when something feels “off.” (Read more about Self Awareness here: The MOST Important Intelligence.)
  ​

• More Sometimes Does Mean Better
  ​People are more prone to multitask when working remotely (you shouldn’t, but it is a compulsion we all struggle with. Heck, I am doing it right now as I write this 🥴). This creates a need to “over-communicate” in the virtual space with synchronous and asynchronous communication. And while better communication helps, it doesn’t automatically create connection. Without hallway run-ins or shared lunch tables, trust doesn’t build the way it used to.
  ​

• Trust​
  The decline in regular casual micro-interactions makes trust-building a slower process. Trust is built on emotional connection, and connection takes longer to form when we aren’t casually interacting in hallways or over coffee. In remote settings, it’s easy to disengage and harder to check in casually. But these challenges don’t mean connection is impossible—just that it has to be more deliberate. Remote work also presents new opportunities to grow our emotional intelligence, not diminish it.
  ​

• Psychological Safety
  ​“Psychological safety at work is a shared expectation held by members of a team that teammates will not embarrass, reject, or punish them for sharing ideas, taking risks, or soliciting feedback.” In a virtual space, there are fewer cultural and personal capital considerations for team members, which can lead to conflict and instances of keyboard warrior feedback. Tough talk that we might be less compelled to share if we were face-to-face.
  ​

• Motivation/Engagement​
  Not having the in-person connection time to simply walk up to someone during the day or observe them while they work gives some leaders pause because it makes motivation and engagement harder to assess, let alone manage performance.

Rightfully so, people in leadership positions are concerned about the implications of remote work. The virtual workplace impacts all facets of work; collaboration, teamwork, culture, and engagement are not immune; in fact, they may be the most impacted.

So, we know the challenges, what can we do about them?

I am not just saying this because I am a ✌🏻culture guy✌🏻, I am that, but also it fits. If you want better collaboration and teamwork, you need to strengthen emotional intelligence. You can build this with intention by getting clear about what the acceptable and unacceptable behaviors are in your organization, which is just getting intentional about your culture.

7 Practices to Build EQ (and culture) on a Remote Team
​

1) Make Space for Emotionally-Based Check-Ins

I listened to Simon Sinek’s Podcast, with guests Adam Grant and Brené Brown. Brené talked about implementing a two-word check-in for her team when they meet. Asking people to provide a two-word check-in on their energy and/or emotional state provides instances to improve connection, self-awareness, trust, psychological safety, and engagement. As with any practice, it will start weird and feel clunky, as with anything new. As trust and safety build, you will get higher levels of honesty and deeper connection.
​

Pro-Tip: Allow people to be comfortably vulnerable, especially when starting. Building psychological safety within a team and developing emotional intelligence in individuals takes time and practice.

2) Use Video with Intention

While not as expedient as in-person interactions, having cameras on can help build connection, self-awareness, engagement, and effective communication. Use video with intention; it does not need to be for every meeting (unless you want it that way).

I would encourage three modes: Camera on, camera encouraged, camera not required. This will force you to be thoughtful about camera use, because a one-size-fits-all approach is not the way.

For instance, 1-on-1s, conflict resolution, and team celebrations should be on camera. Presentations, operational meetings, and working sessions are fine, as well as camera-encouraged meetings. FYI, meetings, presentations, and meetings with large audiences are great camera-not-needed options. The goal is to be thoughtful and intentional.

Pro-Tip: Make sure that camera expectations are clear before the meeting—no surprises. You will also want to be conscientious about gender bias in cameras. Studies have shown that women may feel a disproportionate level of pressure to maintain a certain level of physical appearance that aligns with societal norms. Do some pre-work thinking before sending out the invite. “Why do I want/need to see my people for this meeting?” “What is my concern if cameras are off?” If you want the camera, totally cool, just say so beforehand so people can prepare!
​

3) Make Space for the “Non-Work Related”

Allow for the creation of shared interest channels in your communication tools (weekend adventure shares, pets, music, etc.). This will build connection, self-awareness, engagement, and help develop trust. Get explicit about what tools people can use and when, and make sure they know what activities are cool (Zoom for happy hours, game nights, book clubs, lunches, etc.). I know this flies in the face of people concerned about productivity, but I would challenge them to think about what productivity they may be losing because of the lack of trust and EQ in their 2-D, non-people-centered workplace. Also, funny backgrounds, enough said.
​​
​Pro-Tip: Don’t just assume people know what is acceptable and unacceptable. If you genuinely do not care what your people use their tools for, that's awesome, but they don’t know. Particularly in permission-seeking or permission-needing cultures, take the time to let people know what is cool and what is not. There are only two outcomes when you don’t: either they will assume you don't want them to do anything non-work related, OR they will do what they think is ok and potentially open themselves up to doing something you don't want them to do and get into trouble. The latter will haunt you for a long time, as the lore of getting in trouble for not knowing is a hard stain to get out.​
​

4) Build a Spirit of Gratitude

Gratitude is a BIG part of building an intentional culture. We wrote about it here! While I would argue it is important in any setting virtual or otherwise if you share the challenges written above, gratitude hits on all of them. But, you have to become skilled in sharing of meaningful gratitude that hits the heart, not just the vocal chords. Here is a snippet from the article linked earlier.
​
​“Sharing meaningful gratitude consists of four elements: their name (super important), what they did (behavior + activity), the impact on the organization (what was the result), and the impact on you personally (why and how, what they did meant so much to you).
Practice that structure and we promise it will start to come naturally!”
​
​Pro-Tip: Add moments of gratitude to all your meeting agendas, have an explicit vehicle for people to share gratitude, and recognize people when they recognize people. If you want people to share gratitude, express it to them when they do! Find a visual queue to remind you to be on the lookout for people doing the right things, rightly.
​

5) Don’t Sleep on Modern Hieroglyphics

Look, I get it. But plain text can be interpreted in so many ways. How long did it take you to learn not to fight text with a friend or significant other? Let’s face it: Emojis and GIFs are here to stay and are so helpful for text tone, and they are fun! You want to humanize your workforce? Embrace the change. Allowing for these modern hieroglyphics to become commonplace helps with connection, communication, psychological safety, and self-awareness. That's right!

Using emojis can help build people’s self-awareness and thus their EQ.

The consideration that an emoji may or may not be needed means that the person is thinking about the intention of their communication and how they want it to land for the person(s) on the receiving end. Once considered, they have to select an appropriate representation of said emotional context. There have been studies, I checked 🤓 (See what I did there? 😉)
​
​Pro-Tip: In documents and communications where you do not want emojis, GIFs, memes, etc., say so. Getting intentional about your culture means determining what is acceptable and what is not. But, miss me all the way with saying that emojis are “unprofessional.” They are a great way to punch up dry material and convey emotional intentions. You could also be helping your people get a deeper connection with their own emotions and those of their team members.
​

6) Train for Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence is a skill, just like any other, that can be learned and developed over time. You want your people to have good emotional intelligence (you should), and training for EQ is another way to assuage all the concerns listed above (you can). They can be small, frequent, single-point lessons about EQ. What it is and why it is important. There are literally thousands of resources out there to help in this arena, and who knows, maybe you’ll learn something too.
​
​Pro-Tip: 90 minutes. That is the max time you should have anyone in a virtual meeting. The human brain was not meant to work longer than that without a considerable break. Keep your training sessions, discussions, and anything else you do online short. Remember, always leave them wanting more.
​

7) Be the Example

When leaders demonstrate that it is okay to be overwhelmed, sad, grateful, learning a hard lesson, or making a mistake, it humanizes the leader. Showing that level of vulnerability helps all the concerns listed above, and to be honest, makes you a better leader. What it does for the leader is great; what it does for the people who follow them cannot be understated. It gives them the license to do the same. You want to humanize your digital workplace? You want your people to be emotionally intelligent? You want productivity AND a great culture? Let people be people, let them feel the feels, and let them do so together.
​
​Pro-Tip: Encourage people to lean into their energy and emotions, not repress them. They will only come back to haunt you and them. This does not mean letting people trauma-dump or rage in meetings or working sessions. This means if someone appears to be down, check in on them. If someone is feeling overwhelmed, offer them help. If someone looks distraught, give them space. And never, EVER, tell someone to smile.

Remote work has changed the landscape, but it hasn’t changed what people need. We all still want to be seen, heard, valued, and understood. That’s where emotional intelligence comes in—not as a bonus skill, but as a necessary one.

It helps us navigate the nuance that tech can’t capture. It reminds us to slow down, check in, listen more closely, and lead with heart—even when we’re moving fast. And maybe most importantly, it keeps us connected—not just to each other but to what really matters at work: people.

Because in the end, no matter how digital our workplaces become, the work is still deeply human.

With stoke and gratitude,

Wes Love