when people leave, it’s rarely about the money.
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At CultureStoke, we spend a lot of time inside organizations, listening, observing, and tuning into behavioral patterns.
Every now and then, we dive into the wilds of the internet to tune into the broader employee experience.
Yesterday, I stumbled across a Reddit thread that caught my attention.
It started with this meme below.
Source: Reddit
Half-joke, half-cry-for-help.
But it wasn’t the meme that hit me. It was the comments.
Hundreds of people from all walks of work - trades, tech, healthcare, education, government, and more - jumping in with the real reasons they’ve quit, checked out, or started looking elsewhere.
And here’s what stood out:
Not one person said it was about the money.
Not one.
They didn’t say, “I left for a raise.”
They said:
“I trained 20 new people in 3 years. Leadership didn’t ask why they kept quitting.”
“We got restructured. Then restructured again. No plan, no clarity, just more work.”
“They cut staff, doubled expectations, and called it ‘efficiency.’”
“The execs got bonuses. I got burnout.”
It wasn’t dramatic.
It was subtle.
Predictable even.
And it revealed a deeper truth:
People aren’t leaving for greener grass.
They’re leaving because they’re tired of dying on dry ground.
They were naming the cost of bad leadership and the slow drain of a culture that stopped caring.
What Keeps Showing Up
(Across Every Industry)
Different jobs. Different sectors.
Same patterns.
1. Turnover Feels Normal
“We’ve had so much turnover, it just feels expected now.”
That’s not normal. That’s a warning.
When constant change becomes the status quo, teams stop building momentum.
2. Leaders Are Invisible or Indifferent
“No one ever asked what I needed.”
If the only time team members hear from leadership is when something’s broken, trust starts to erode. Fast.
3. Workload Goes Up, Capacity Goes Down
“They cut half the staff, then wondered why everything slowed down.”
“They just assumed we’d absorb the work.”
Cost-cutting without redesigning roles isn’t strategy - it’s sabotage.
"Lean teams" have been glorified so much that we've forgotten: sustainable output requires sustainable input. Human beings aren’t machines.
4. Knowledge Walks Out the Door, and Nobody Cares
“They let go of people who knew how things worked and handed their jobs to temps.”
When experience walks out and no one tries to capture it, quality, morale, and momentum tank.
5. Recognition Is Non-Existent
“I only heard from my boss when something was wrong.”
Silence isn’t neutral. It’s depleting.
People who don’t feel seen stop showing up fully, or stop showing up at all.
6. Toxicity Is Tolerated and Good People Leave
“The worst people never got called out. The best people left.”
Culture isn’t what you say, it’s what you allow. What you tolerate. What you reward.
Every time poor behavior goes unchecked, you tell your best people, “This place isn’t for you.”
7. Leadership Claims the Wins, Dodge the Losses
“Execs get bonuses while we’re drowning.”
It’s not just about the money - it’s about ownership.
If leaders take credit but disappear when it’s hard, people stop believing they’re in it with them.
The Real Red Flag? Numbness.
The tone in the thread wasn’t angry.
They were tired.
Resigned.
Checked out.
And that’s the most dangerous place for a team to land - when good people stop expecting things to improve.
Not frustrated, but emotionally gone.
No more hope.
No more expectations.
Just an emotional “quit” before they ever hand in their notice.
It’s not a loud crash. It’s a slow leak.
By the time it shows up in your turnover report, it’s already been happening for months.
This isn’t just an HR issue.
It’s a leadership issue.
A systems and culture issue.
A “what have we normalized without realizing it?” issue. or A “what are we tolerating without noticing?” problem.
So What Can You Actually Do?
Let’s be real - you can’t “perks and party” your way out of this.
The fix isn’t flashy.
It’s grounded.
It’s behavioral.
It’s human.
And it requires consistency.
Here’s where to start:
1. Do Stay Interviews, Not Just Exit Interviews
Ask while people are still around. Don’t wait for the exit interview. By then, it’s too late.
Ask:
What keeps you here?
What’s weighing on you?
What would make this job easier, more meaningful, more sustainable?
What’s something I might be missing or not seeing?
And then - this part matters most - act on what you hear.
2. Don’t Just Redistribute Work - Redesign Roles
When someone leaves, don’t just dump their work on whoever’s left.
Ask:
Can this role be restructured?
What can we stop doing?
What will we need to de-prioritize?
How are we setting the remaining team up to win - not just survive?
Otherwise, your top performers are next out the door.
3. Recognize Loudly, Frequently, and Sincerely
Recognition isn’t fluff. It’s fuel.
Don’t wait for quarterly reviews. Build it into your rhythm:
Praise progress, not just perfection
Highlight values in action
Celebrate the quiet consistency, not just the big wins.
People who feel seen tend to stay. People who feel invisible don’t.
4. Be Present - Especially When It’s Hard
It’s easy to show up when things are smooth.
But trust is built in the hard moments:
During high stress
After someone quits
When a tough decision is made
When morale dips
Presence signals commitment. Absence breeds doubt.
5. Align Your Culture with People’s Dreams
Here’s the secret to retention most leaders miss:
The goal isn’t to keep people forever.
The goal is to make it a hard decision to leave.
The best way to do this?
By building a culture that invests in their growth not just as employees, but as people.
Helping them move towards their dream - inside and outside the workplace.
Here’s the secret to retention most leaders miss:
The goal isn’t to keep people forever.
The goal is to make it a hard decision to leave.
How?
By building a culture that invests in their growth, not just as employees, but as people.
Help them move toward their dreams, inside and outside of work.
When you do that with intention and consistency, something powerful happens:
They’ll run through walls to help you achieve yours.
Because when people feel like their future matters to you, they’ll give you their best in the present.
Final Thought: Let Turnover Teach You
That Reddit thread wasn’t just venting.
It was a signal.
Behind every resignation is a story.
And behind every story is a pattern that leadership either saw and ignored, or never even noticed.
If you're leading, you're shaping culture.
With your actions. Your silence. Your decisions.
Make sure it’s one people want to stay for.
Better yet - make it one they want to help build.
Because turnover isn’t just a problem to solve.
It’s a message to hear.
And you get to decide how long you’re willing to wait before listening.
And the best leaders?
They’re already listening.
